It’s 2am. I went to bed pretty early and now find myself awake. The wee hours of the morning allow for pondering the universe. A flood of epiphanies wet my soul. I once again ask myself the questions without answers that plague me. Beliefs of various cultures and races swirl around in my mind. Each one competing for right, rather than for truth. Each belief stronger than the next, with those who cling to their fear of not knowing being the strongest indoctrinators.
Does truth require force?
I stand on the edge of a mountain next to a stranger. We discourse back and forth as to whether gravity exists. As we stand there on the precipice, one of us holds the truth. Is there need to fight over the truth of gravity? Or will there be, at some point, the ability to know the truth?
Truth does not require force. It speaks for itself. Yet I find so many forcing their way of life onto everyone the globe over. Some are so many generations removed from the oppressive force, they no longer realize that what they believe was not something they pondered deeply and meaningfully, but merely something passed down to them. Their belief is the parroting after many generations of indoctrination. What began by force, no longer requires it. Because those slaughtered into submission trained their children, and their children after them. Until we wake up one day saying, thank god, without ever fully understanding how we came to utter such words. Or why?
But the desire to live, even after this, that deep desire to never be extinguished, keeps us hanging on to another’s belief. Something from years gone, foisted upon our body, soul and minds, leaving us paralyzed and unwilling to dig deeper for fear of discovering that our entire life was spent following something possibly not true. We are comforted by the belief that we know. But we push on, even with vehemence, defending what is not ours to defend. Defending that which still cannot be labeled as truth. Defending that which many have died trying to fight off. Imagine, people believe that which people fought against, as their life force was forcefully extinguished because they believed otherwise. Yet, these are the things we cling to for dear life.
Not knowing. It is a liberating space. It allows me to be human. It humbles me to possibilities in this vast universe. It allows me to realize the fragility of life, as well as the strength of it.
The truth? I don’t know what it may or may not be. But I know that I will humbly seek it out, while accepting the very real possibility that I may not know in my life time how I came to be here. Or why I’ve come to be. And that is ok. I am a child of a force that allowed for the existence of many things in this grand All. Whatever this thing is that we exist within, I surely am. That is all I can know for now. Maybe tomorrow will unfold something that will give clarity. Maybe.
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