what i want to tell
the truths i want to tell, no one wants to hear. folks don’t want to know about the painful bits of knowledge that sit inside me, waiting to burst from my rib cage. they want the watered down version of life, the version with lipstick and make-up that presents itself on nightly news. they don’t want the core of my being, the me that says, this shit right here, this ain’t life. this is what you’ve been made to believe is life. real life lives outside the matrix. it lives in zion where the people are trying to set themselves free while still finding love on the other side of a cave wall. no…no one wants my truth.
as i sit at my desk, staring at the screen, i remember the many days i tried to tell my truth. but folks wanted to live inside the matrix. they wanted to forget, get their memory wiped clean of all the truths they were exposed to. they didn’t care that the steak wasn’t real, they still wanted it; fake, intangible, in their mind food. it was ok for them…that never been seasoned taste of dead flesh on their tongue…that taste that never really existed and never will. my truths are raw. they make even me shudder in fear of what it could all mean. what does it all mean? i really don’t know, but i’m tired of the pink lipstick being painted on the pig of existence.
when do we face the realities of life that don’t gel with what we imagine life should be? wouldn’t facing certain truths emancipate many from the mental, emotional, intellectual and physical slavery? it’s true, no one wants to hear my truths. my truths are too brazen, too bold, too…truthful. my truths cut deep. they take… Continue reading
a new season
Wow. A new season is on the horizon. By the calendar, it is January 1st. But by nature, winter is now turning over to give way to spring. The winter solstice has come and gone, and our rebirth is at our heels. The moments of sunlight become longer, as we move into a new time in the earths rotation and into a new season. This past time, 2009, seemed to fly by. It came and went without warning or excuse. To examine what was left in its wake is a daunting task. In essence, what have I done, or what has happened to me?
I completed a novel this year. For me, this was the single most important accomplishment this year. It felt as though I created a thing that wanted to be created, that asked and begged to come into existence. But at the same time, as this triumph hangs high, the weight of my procrastination looms. I do not write daily, at least not toward my novels and short stories. It is meditation that allows me to remain centered around this, and not feel as though I am denying something to myself. Or denying something to those who might just want to read my creations. I dismiss the notion by telling myself my writing isn’t all that, the world will read other works and nothing will be missed. Yes, this is it. I am just a little fish in a big pond. But the other always creeps in and tells me it is not for me to decide. Write it the universe says, and it will handle the rest. My only responsibility is to love my craft and write it, whatever ‘it‘ may be.
I received a flood of revelations. Many welcomed, many not so welcomed. But all… Continue reading
photo: amish country and their cows
amish country cows
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the morning and worms
the worms were up before me this morning.
there is value in rising before the sun, something i didn’t do today. It is now minutes before 9am and i feel as though i’ve missed the morning. an entire world of events occurred while i slept. ecosystems transformed as the sun dawned on the horizon. plants yawned and stretched their leaves as they awoke to this new day. some people were off to work while darkness still blanketed this side of the planet. others were up farming, getting the land prepared for the incoming season. a new kind of movement began, the movement of things awake.
yes, many things happened while i slept. the planet turned, people slept, people moved and flowed, ecosystems shifted and changed, and worms rolled over and moved to the surface to peek at the sun.
:: yawning ::
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