Writing Prompt: Shape Up or Ship Out

Write a letter to the personality trait you like least, convincing it to shape up or ship out. Be as threatening, theatrical, or thoroughly charming as is necessary to get the job done.

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Dear Procrastination:

You’re a menace and I’m tired of your slack ways. You are addicted to waiting and addicts are simply not welcomed here. You need to get your act together and change immediately. Everyday you come to me with your whining and complaining about what you don’t want to do. Frankly, I no longer care. There are plenty of things no one wants to do, but it needs to get done nonetheless. You are caught in a quagmire and come hell or high water, you need to pull yourself out.

Life won’t wait for when you’re ready. You make the excuse that you are merely a slow writer. But that isn’t really the case. Is it, Procrastination? You simply don’t want to do things when they need to get done.

Stop it! Stop it now!

Honestly, I’ve been trying to find a kind way to say this, but you can’t remain here any longer. That is all there is to it. You must go. I’m sorry. You’ve been a strange sort of security blanket, but you must go permanently. I would tell you I love you, but in truth, I don’t. You’ve done nothing but cause me pain and strife.

Procrastination, have a good life. I need to move on. Without you.